Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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