How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
