did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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