Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we're making bets on your personal life
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
