..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
