What a fucking waste of an outfit
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
