i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He's on the porch naked. Help.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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