I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
