i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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