Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
