The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
