So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
