Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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