:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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