Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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