yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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