Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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