so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
