Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
