its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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