She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
