I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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