You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
