Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
