Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
