just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
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I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
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I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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