I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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