please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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