Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
