maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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