You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
