Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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