dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
