Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
