Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
