Do vagina's smell?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
