you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize