What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
