My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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