I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
