South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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