I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
