there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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