I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
