i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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