Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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