Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
