I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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