that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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