she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
