i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
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Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
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did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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