I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
