Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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