Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
