I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize