This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
