I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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