Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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