I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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