I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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