As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
