Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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