I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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