Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
