Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
