Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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